Contains spoilers for this article Love Is Blind Season 2.
If you do not watch an episode Love is blindI can describe the viewing experience as follows: It looks like a television producer read a Wikipedia description of the Stanford prison trial and decided it needed a little romance.
The show, which ended its second season on Netflix last week, examines the theory that innate physical attraction is an obstacle to romantic love, with 30 people separated for a week and a half in the studio. Participants spend their time alone in a small, closed room.Pods“Date” is running through a speaker system. To get rid of the pods and graduate in the next episode of the ceremony, they have to get engaged a month later. Only after an accepted offer is the couple allowed to see what the other person looks like, and until the couple returns from a post-engagement trip to Mexico, they are separated from the outside world. No cell phone, no internet, no support.
Everything about the show upsets me, and just because it’s not a bad idea. Competitors who have known each other for a few days start calling each other their best friends. Most participants who fail to connect with a stranger through a wall are not given their names or identities, scattering in the background like non-playable characters in a video game. Everyone involved is constantly stuck to the metallic wine glass because moderation is the long-standing enemy of compulsory reality television, and so Chardonnay denies an edit that hides above and below his glass, which may not be strictly chronological.
But, alas, Love is blind Also great content, and the show has been a big hit for Netflix and a hot topic for social media gossip. Last weekend, my friend David warned me that he was starting to see it with his girlfriend. On Monday, he sent me an update. “I started reading a novel by Jonathan Franzen on Saturday morning,” he wrote. “Now I am ten pages deep Love is blind subreddit. “This is a popular way for fans of the show: contestants open up their most intimate moments to the general public, and then the general public wants more, checking their Instagram accounts, the presence of podcasts and anything else that can provide conclusive evidence. Those who should celebrate and, most importantly, how to deal with the human heart. And this is the last part-the consensus-building about the right and wrong way to experience some of life’s most difficult moments যা that the show lands. Love is blind It’s very painful and so exciting because it’s not just about 30 competitors — it’s about the rest of us.
One of the most annoying things about the show is how quickly and completely some of the participants’ boundaries disappear. What started out as an audience-pleasing affair in a series of confused Tinder dates turned out to be couples’ bonds on stories of childhood trauma and adult violence and deep personal insecurities, introducing each other’s voices in everything. This season, Aina and Jarrett, two contestants who have been engaged, have exchanged stories of abandonment of parents and attempted murder by a one-time friend. The other two women, Daniel and Dipti, share details of their years-long struggle to make peace with their bodies and to feel confident after dramatic weight loss; They finally got engaged to those who listened. If you go into a room where two strangers are discussing these things, you will apologize and leave. But part of the reality thrill of reality TV is inviting others to live and watch the interior.
I asked Seattle-based psychologist and couple therapist Kirk Honda, who broke the interpersonal dynamics on the popular reality dating show and followed it on YouTube, why? Love is blind So effective to get people employed in such strange situations. He told me that the show was made for quick intimacy. Producers, he suspects, look for people who really want to get married, and then the cast members drink alcohol, are cut off from their social life, have virtually nothing to do outside the pod all day but think about those who have done it. Talked with, and forced potential competitors to compete for a small team. When participants are not in the pod, they are in the gender-segregated standard-issue reality-TV housing, gossiping about the date of their pod. The natural expectation and excitement of dating breaks down at 11 — If you do not do what you can to bond with the person you are most interested in, one of your new friends may take your future husband away from you. Love is blind Dating-apps claim to stand in opposition to culture, but it represents a common concern raised by those apps: you can never feel confident that someone you’re really caring about isn’t having the same conversations with half a dozen other people at the same time.
These dynamics force participants to rationalize the things that are created for the viewer in the clear red flag. In the depths of their pod intercourse, Shane accidentally reveals to Natalie that she is following another competitor. When Natalie says she’s confused, Shane blows up and almost leaves the show কিন্তু but they’re engaged anyway. When Ayana accepts Jarrett’s offer, she realizes that he has already offered and turned down the offer to another woman. Daniel and Nick spiral in the same fight over and over again. Dipti and Shaikh bond on their shared cultural roots and dating history but Dipti is open about the insecurity of her body but Shaikh’s obsession about having a skinny partner seems shiny. Once they meet face to face, Shake tells someone that he will hear that he is not attracted to the light as soon as he opens his ears.
To the credit of the producers, it sets up an incredible fireworks display. It is decided whether to stay together or break up On the altar. The bride has to look her best during this time, because of posterity more than anything else. Their wedding parties are filled with their true friends, and most of their families try to gather support. It is almost impossible for some of these people to be left on the altar and humiliated in front of the world, even though you know virtually nothing about them. You are encouraged to laugh. You don’t do a foolish thing in this situation. Never let Netflix spread your dark privacy. You must not fall in love with some bojo in the next room after four days. You won’t get reality-TV marriage.
You, though. To me, this is the most uncomfortable part Love is blind. Most contestants feel good, if a little desperate for friendship, which is not particularly rare. Conflicts are blown away for the price of entertainment, but they are mostly identical with normal relationship things ভিন্ন unlike most other dating shows, there are some jumps without engagement and marriage, which makes some of the dramas annoyingly familiar. All couples argue, and many of them have the same argument over and over again. Defensiveness, poor communication and feelings of injury have turned us all into occasional jolts.
Every day, people try to push past insecurities without dealing with them, try to reconcile conflicting desires that would otherwise fit uncomfortably with a beautiful partner, try to differentiate between anger problems and those that are more likely to happen. Turns into abuse. Sometimes they tell themselves that these efforts are going better than them because they desperately want it to be true. There’s nothing so gorgeous about any of it, which is why it invites so much intimate testing and exciting discussion by online fans. But by the grace of God many of us go there, even if the camera doesn’t capture our fights and frustrations. If we can all agree on the right way to argue, the right way to blame the right person for a broken heart, and the right way to fall in love, we can all do better next time we try.